


God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-nin

by stripeypirate



Series: Kakashi Hatake's Unorthodox Teaching Methods [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Christmas, Cuddling, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, One Shot, Stand Alone, Team as Family, Underage Drinking, kakashi is still a troll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stripeypirate/pseuds/stripeypirate
Summary: The holidays aren't easy for Sasuke but his team isn't about to let him sit alone and mope.





	God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-nin

Winter in Konoha rarely got cold enough for snow. Sasuke’s uncle Yashiro used to say it was because the will of fire burned so hot that it reached all the way to the heart of the land and prevented the fat white flakes from sticking.

He thought a lot about his family this time of year. It was like a missing tooth; an empty space where there shouldn’t be one, but if he pressed hard enough he could still make it hurt. And he had to, because Itachi was still out there, still breathing free air and not six feet under the hardened earth with the rest of the clan.

A thick fog blanketed the city streets and a thin rain drizzled down, keeping all but the most desperate shoppers and a bare-bones security detail outdoors. Sasuke hugged the bottle closer to his side in a vain attempt to keep the brown paper wrapped around it from disintegrating. He knew he didn’t even look close to being of age, but most of the storeowners in the Hidden Village yielded at the sight of a hitai-ate without too many questions (though perhaps a sideways pitying look).

He dreaded the cold, empty halls; the wind whistling through like ghosts whispering. He didn’t want to think about firelight bouncing off his father’s face, exaggerating his expressions as he retold Uchiha legends that had been handed down since before Konoha had been founded, or his mother shooing him out of the kitchen so she could gossip with his aunts, or even Shisui’s cheeks flushed red from trying to out-drink his elders. Itachi picking him up and carrying him on his shoulders so he could help string pine-scented garlands throughout the house.

A light shone in the front window and Sasuke cursed himself for forgetting to turn it off before he left, until the doorknob turned easily in his hand. He was absolutely sure he’d locked it.

Without thinking, Sasuke dropped into a crouch. He clutched the bottle by the neck. Not an ideal weapon, but it would suit if the intruder was stupid enough to make their presence so obviously known. He pushed the door open and silently crept inside.

He heard voices pitched low in what used to be the living area but was now mostly empty space he used to store weapons. He eased off his shoes, then followed the hallway down, sticking close to the wall as possible. Sasuke rounded the corner, bottle raised, ready to take the thieves by surprise but instead he was faced with Naruto and Sakura sitting cross-legged on the floor.

“Why the hell’d you leave your shoes on?” he snarled for lack of a better retort. His brain was still trying to catch up with the fact that his two teammates had broken the unspoken rule of Team 7: Don’t Get Personal.

“Why the hell’dya look like you're about to attack us?” Naruto shot back. “Do ya treat all your guests this way?”

“You broke in!”

“Ah, well y-yes technically-” Sakura began. Sasuke noticed that she had in fact removed her shoes and placed them in her lap.  

“Because I’m freakin’ awesome at picking locks. Maybe if you were a better ninja you’d be able to keep me out!” Naruto jumped to his feet and stabbed an accusatory finger at Sasuke. “Ya think a hoity-toity clan like the Uchiha would have some better security.”

“You little-” Sasuke stepped forward, winding the bottle up for a good swing.

“Guys please!” Sakura wedged herself firmly between them. “That isn’t the reason we came here,” she said pointedly glaring at Naruto.

“And what is that exactly?” Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

“Well we uh, thought you might like some people around since y’know…” She fidgeted with her fingers in a manner that seemed more like Hinata.

“I’m fine. Get out.”

“See I told you he’d just be a jerk.” Naruto stuck his tongue out.

“Oh really? What’s this then?” Sakura snatched the bottle out of his hand with more speed than he’d thought her capable of. “Ginjo sake,” her green eyes narrowed. “You know we’re not allowed to drink.” Her face was taking on the pinched look she got at the academy when someone tried to get away with copying the homework.

“But if you SHARED maybe we could work a little something out.”

“Naruto!” Sakura hissed. “We can’t-”

“It’s none of your business.” Sasuke yanked the bottle back. “Don’t you have stuff to do with your families or whatever?”

Naruto’s expression hardened and he folded his arms. Sakura nudged him with her shoulder until he muttered at the floor.

“What?”

“I SAID that you guys are like my family. Or something.”

“And my parents went to go visit my grandpa in the hospital but they won’t allow kids in even though I’m a fully-fledged ninja and everything,” Sakura said. A brief shadow passed over her face but then a sunny grin broke through. “So you see we don’t have anywhere better to be. Though I supposed we _could_ visit Kakashi-sensei and let him know you started drinking. He’d probably want you to get a psych eval and-”

“FINE. God. I don’t have any chairs though so you’ll have to stay on the floor.” He did have chairs in the kitchen but they didn’t need to know that. Maybe if they got uncomfortable enough they’d leave.

“Have you ever uh,” Naruto gestured at the bottle, “before?”

“No,” Sasuke admitted grudgingly. “Have you?”

“I uh well I COULD if I WANTED to. I could’ve drank LOTS. Way more than you.”

“So that’s a no. And obviously not Sakura.”

She bristled at that. “Well, I suppose if it’s for a special occasion it’d be okay. And as long as we’re careful not to drink too much…”

They all settled themselves down on the hard wood as Naruto managed to work the cork out with his teeth.

Sasuke took the first swig and had to hold back a gasp as the liquid burned its way down his throat. Naruto followed suit with a bigger swallow but immediately burst into a coughing fit.

“Bleargh that stuff is awful. I mean, awful cuz it’s not strong enough.” He forced himself to take another swallow. “Hah!”

Sakura eyed the bottle as if it was a potentially venomous snake. Sasuke opened his mouth and was about to tell her she didn’t have to if she didn’t want any when she took a sip with only a small shudder. After, she met his eyes and blushed, a conspiratorial smile on her lips.

They continued to pass the bottle around until Sasuke noticed that the sake didn’t taste that bad really. Or maybe that was because his tongue was numb. Huh.

Sakura’s laugh become louder and more frequent until she was competing in volume with Naruto, who became even more obnoxious as he tied his hitai-ate sideways so that it covered one eye and began impersonating Kakashi.

“Like, you guys aren’t even cooool ninja’s I got stuck babysitting little ninja’s so imma sit here ‘n read porn ‘n stuff. Hurr hurr.”

“That’s not even accurate.”

“Why don’t you try?” Sakura challenged. “Here, here wait lemme go first.” She stood, swaying slightly and re-tied her headband. “Ahem.” She pitched her voice comically low. “Today our very important mission will be: Collecting trash! You’ll learn allll about bad smells which a ninja needs to not be afraid of. And THEN you will organize my sock drawer. Because I’m too lazy to do it myself. Or even make up an excuse for how that’ll make ya a better ninja. Oh and also you have to be blindfolded.”

Naruto snorted and applauded, but Sasuke waved a dismissive hand.

“Not bad, not bad. But watch this.”

The floor seemed to tilt slightly as he pushed himself to his feet. He slouched his shoulders and tucked his hands into his pockets, letting his weight rest back on his heels. He cocked his head back so he was looking down at them underneath his headband.

“Okay I’m here for the party.”

Naruto and Sakura’s eyes widened.

“YOU’RE LATE!” They screeched at the same time before doubling over with laughter.

Sasuke felt warmth spread through his chest. The rational part of his mind was screaming something about getting way too personal and that he needed to maintain distance. Focus. But that part was fuzzy and distorted like he was underwater. Actually, a lot of things were fuzzy and distorted. He decided to sit back down before he fell over.

“What if Kakashi-sensei’s lonely too?” Sakura asked plaintively. “We DIDN’T invite him to the party. But he’s family too. He’s team seven. He deserves to have a good holiday.” Her lower lip trembled.

“Ah shit you’re right!” Naruto hiccupped. “We gotta, we gotta go find ‘im. And bring him a drink!” He swished around the remaining contents of the bottle.

Sasuke felt that Kakashi was perfectly capable of taking care of himself during the holiday season, let alone purchase his own alcohol, but he didn’t want to make Sakura sad and Naruto was already struggling into his coat. 

 

* * *

 

Konoha had turned into a completely different city. Suddenly the streetlights were cloaked in a magical haze and the pavement squiggled away into the dark as he attempted to follow the sidewalk. Most of the time he ended up crashing into Sakura or Naruto, and so they went pinballing against one another in no particular direction.

After a few blocks, Sakura started to lag. “I’m tiiiiredddddd. Where is heeeee. KAKASHI-SENSEI? WE HAVE ALCOHOLS FOR YOU.”

Naruto picked up the cry enthusiastically. Sasuke tried to be embarrassed but that was too much work, so he half-heartedly tried to shush them, smirking the whole time.  

“’M so tired. I wanna take a nap,” Sakura mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She sat down and leaned her back up against a brick store front. “Jus’ a couple minutes.”

Naruto tugged at her arms, but she let out a soft snore. Sasuke hated to admit it, but she looked pretty peaceful, her hair spread out like a bright pillow behind her.

“Aw nuts,” Naruto said around a huge yawn. “Mebbe she’s right. She’s the smart one after all. Get a lil shuteye an’ THEN finish the search. Yeah.” He sat down next to her, nuzzled into her side, and was asleep in seconds.

Without intending, Sasuke let his sharingan bleed through. He stared at his two teammates until he was certain every single detail was burned into his memory; the drool leaking out of the corner of Naruto’s mouth, the way his head fit perfectly into the curve of her neck, her hands soft and outstretched.

_Like she’s reaching for me._

He looked up and down the street but it was deserted. Then, he inched his way over to her other side but something didn’t feel right. Sasuke slouched down and stretched his feet out diagonally until he was touching Naruto’s leg.

_Better._

Kakashi walked out of the store holding the new Christmas edition of Icha Icha. He blinked in surprise at the sight of his three genin, unconscious and piled like puppies on the doorstep. Kakashi smiled under his mask as he slung Naruto and Sasuke over each shoulder and tucked Sakura under his arm. He dumped them rather unceremoniously in the foyer of the Uchiha compound.

Tomorrow his team would learn an important lesson about training while hungover, but tonight he would be content to let them sleep curled around each other while he sipped the remaining sake; a reward for a job well done. They were finally bonding. His teaching methods must be working after all.

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for my wonderful beta RedBeartheNotPirate who requested "sad-core but hopeful Sasuke and the gang around Christmas time focusing on regrets." 
> 
> Merry Christmas for those who celebrate (and happy "eat Chinese food day" for those who don't)!


End file.
